Tag Archives: Knights in Tarnished Armor

Two Titles Discounted

For a short time, two of our titles are being discounted.  The first is Knights in Tarnished Armor by Kate Paulk.  The second is B. Quick by C. S. Laurel.  Snippets below.

* * *

Knights in Tarnished Armor ($1.99) is a comedy of errors, er, letters. . . .

1. Letter to Sir Richard Amesbury, from Sir Anthony Grimston

My dear friend,

It should come as no surprise to you that the kingdom in an intolerable state. In all my years as a professional scoundrel and despoiler of maidens, I have never seen anything to equal this. I simply cannot do business.

The dearth of maidens is appalling, Richard, utterly appalling. How can I abduct a woman and threaten her with a Fate Worse Than Death if such a fate as already befallen her – and worse, she enjoyed it!

Worse, no self-respecting Knight in Shining Armor will rescue a besmirched maiden. I do not even get the somewhat dubious pleasure of besmirching them myself. They come to me pre-besmirched, as it were. My dragon is starving, and my estate is on the brink of bankruptcy.

Can you see any solution to this problem?

Your friend,
Anthony

2. Letter to Sir Anthony Grimston, from Sir Richard Amesbury

Dear Anthony,

It grieves me to say this, but things are no better on this side of the heroic fence. I have twenty strapping young Knights in Slightly Less Than Shining Armor, and every last one seems to be so busy despoiling the kingdom maidens he has a hard time keeping his lance straight, if you take my meaning.

I would offer to send you one for your dragon, but I fear none of them are virgin either. I fear a Fate Worse Than Death is entirely too pleasurable for our kingdom’s former maidens.

With regret,
Richard.

* * *

B. Quick ($2.99) is a fun mystery that begins on the night of triumphal activity for the Society For The Elimination of Good Looking Blonds. At least that’s how it seems when literature professor Bill Yates interrupts a murder.

Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, What a Little Moonlight Can Do to You

Fall had been warm and rainy. The first snow of the year arrived in the Colorado Rockies late on Halloween night. To make up for its late arrival, it rushed in, eager and heavy, trying to make an unforgettable impression.

It caught me halfway between Cowpattie and Lythia Springs, driving my MG unsteadily along a rutted and narrow country road hemmed in by tall cliffs on either side.

One moment, all was clear under a moonlit sky and my only problem was the sign I’d just glimpsed, which warned DANGER: Rock Slides Next Five Miles. The next minute, the moon had vanished, curtains of snow fell all around, and I had to worry about causing a rockslide by crashing against the roadside cliffs.

Everything a palm or so beyond my windshield disappeared beneath snow. And the bourbon I’d drunk at the Halloween party at Bad Boys kept blurring my focus and giving me a suggestion of pink elephants in tutus and high heels can-can dancing at the edge of my vision.

The curls of my black wig brushed against the stiff expanse of my Elizabethan collar.

Three months short of my thirtieth birthday, a staid college professor in a little Colorado town, I had no business being out in weather like this, wearing a Shakespeare costume and a bit more than half-drunk.

But I didn’t have much choice. My hometown of Lythia Springs was three hours away from Bad Boys.

Well, an hour by highway or as the crow flew — three hours by backcountry roads as the closeted professor drove.

Bad Boys had thrown a Halloween party for its patrons. And the blond I was supposed to meet at Bad Boys had told me that I would look ravishing dressed as Shakespeare. My eyes — so I was told  — burned with the same intensity and inspiration as in the portraits of the bard.

Then, predictably, I’d been stood up and left to get drunk on my own. You’d think I’d know my luck by now. . . .

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Quick Update

Kate Paulk’s Knights in Tarnished Armor is now available through Barnes & Noble.  You can find it here.  Unfortunately, as of a couple of minutes ago, it hadn’t yet shown up in their search engine, but I assume that will be corrected in the next couple of hours.  As soon as it’s available through Amazon and other stores, I’ll let you know.

The Google e-book store opened yesterday.  We’ll be putting our titles up through there as well over the course of the next week or so.  I’ll keep you updated on this as well.

Now I’m off to work on the garage door that has decided it only wants to close half-way.  Such fun.  Of course it would choose the one morning this year so far where our temperature is 33 degrees.  Oh well, I guess it’s just another excuse for me to put on another pot of coffee 😉

Until later!

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Knights in Tarnished Armor is now live!

Thanks to the folks at our web host, Knights in Tarnished Armor is now available.  You can find it here.

We’ll post updates as it becomes available at Amazon, B&N and elsewhere.

 

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

An Update, A Question & Some Observations

Well, try as we might — and we really did try — Kate Paulk’s Knights in Tarnished Armor did not go up on our site yesterday. Believe me, it wasn’t for lack of trying. It’s not even because we didn’t get it done. We did. The issue is, yet again, a problem between our web host and Virtuemart. In the meantime, KITA is in the process of going live on Amazon and B&N, as well as Smashwords. Hopefully, it will be available shortly. In the meantime, a trouble ticket has been sent to the web host.

So here’s the question.  Do any of you know of a good shopping cart program that will integrate with Joomla 1.5 or 1.6 AND allow for downloadable content?  If you do, leave a comment and we’ll check it out.  If we act on your comment, you will be rewarded with your choice of three of our titles for free.

In the ongoing struggle surrounding Barnes & Noble, it’s been reported that Bill Ackman, who owns something like 37% of Borders, has offered to finance a takeover of B&N by Borders.  Both companies have been struggling.  I’m not sure if I think either taking over the other is a good thing.  But I am all for doing whatever is necessary to keep more bookstores from closing.

I guess my biggest concern with a potential buyout by Borders is based on the customer service — or lack thereof — I’ve seen at too many Borders stores over the last few years.  Couple that with a decline in the amount of stock the local Borders stores seems to keep on hand and, well, I worry.  Our local B&N stores have been the polar opposites.  They’ve had great customer service and their stock has been much greater and with a wider variety than Borders.  Still, if a merger or take-over would keep the stores open, I’ll keep an open mind about it.

The latest to make the foray into social media, sort of, is Figment.com.  There’s a good article about it in the NY Times today where it is described as “a sort of literary Facebook for the teenage set” .  So, if you know a teen who is interested in writing, you might point them in Figment’s direction.  Of course, check it out yourself first and, remember, this is not an endorsement of Figment or any other site or program like it.  And, as with any online community, safeguards probably should be taken.

That’s it for now.  We’ll be back with updates on KITA as we get them.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Knights in Tarnished Armor – snippet three

This will be the last snippet of KITA before it is published Sunday.  However, to tease, er entice, you a bit more, I’m including two letters instead of the usual one.  Enjoy!

3.   Letter from Sir Jeremy Truhart to Sir Roland Faythful

Roly,

Have you heard the news? That old stick Amesbury wants us to reform. I heard him telling the old man he thinks we younger knights are so busy poking the maidens our lances are wilting. As if!

We have to stop this, Roly. Just imagine being forced into chastity! A fellow needs to know what to do with his lance before he rescues the princess, if you ask me. I hear they much prefer a little experience, know what I mean?

Can you and the other fellows meet me at the usual tomorrow night, immediately after curfew? We simply must stop the olds from forcing us into celibacy. Every ex-maiden in the city would thank us, know what I mean?

Jimmy.

***

4.  Letter from Lady Alicia Whenchforth to Lady Margaret Basoomy.

Maggy!!!

Have you heard??? They want to stop our fun!!!

Dear Roly just told me Jimmy said old Sir Richard thinks we are too immoral and we should stay chaste until our Daddies find us a good husband!!! I’ve been chaste enough, if you ask me! Chaste five times, and caught three! (Roly is the best, though, don’t you think? But don’t tell Jimmy I said that).

It’s all some rot about the hero business dying. I mean, really! Who cares about some moldy old too-good-to-be-true hero? I want a real man, someone who can do more with his lance than just poke it at me!

Anyway, we have to stop it. Daddy would send me to a convent if he knew I was using Madame’s Babynot. I’d die!!!! As if it matters, whether we do “it” or not. We are still maidens anyway, right Maggy?

Lissie

Maidens After Besmirching

***

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Knights in Tarnished Armor – Preview

I thought I’d tease — er, tempt — everyone with an excerpt from Kate Paulk’s upcoming Knights in Tarnished Armor.

1. Letter to Sir Richard Amesbury, from Sir Anthony Grimston.

My dear friend,

It should come as no surprise to you that the kingdom in an intolerable state. In all my years as a professional scoundrel and despoiler of maidens, I have never seen anything to equal this. I simply cannot do business.

The dearth of maidens is appalling, Richard, utterly appalling. How can I abduct a woman and threaten her with a Fate Worse Than Death if such a fate as already befallen her – and worse, she enjoyed it!

Worse, no self-respecting Knight in Shining Armor will rescue a besmirched maiden. I do not even get the somewhat dubious pleasure of besmirching them myself. They come to me pre-besmirched, as it were. My dragon is starving, and my estate is on the brink of bankruptcy.

Can you see any solution to this problem?

Your friend,

Anthony

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized